Martinez claims he is the best man for the job (we are not sure which one either)

Everton boss Roberto Martinez seems to be in denial about the fact that he is heading out the Merseyside club through the service entrance. The 42-year-old will be fortunate to survive as Toffees boss until the weekend and the clubs annual lap of appreciation.

However, following a 3-0 defeat at struggling Sunderland the Spaniard is believed to have told his team. ‘I am the right man for the job, boys’. There may not been any truth in one unnamed player saying ‘Which job is that boss?’

The Spaniard’s annoying positivity has apparently lead to the job offer from a political party, as he seems ideally qualified to spin the truth and not actually admit to any wrongdoing. The former-Wigan boss may well on the receiving end of a P45 pretty soon.

The next job for the club from Merseyside will be cleaning up Martinez’s mess and filling the Spaniard’s brown brogues.

Rumours that Bill Kenwright and new majority shareholder Farhad Moshiri are scouting any touring circuses for a replacement are slightly harsh, but Martinez has certainly left his mark on Everton, they will never get that stain out of that office carpet.

Manchester City boss Manuel Pellegrini is one of the favourites to be the next Toffees boss. The Chilean is accustomed to trying to explain why a team full of expensive and highly-rated players are under-performing, so he should fit right in as Martinez replacement.

Stories circulating Merseyside suggest that the Toffees may target former-Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez. Haven’t the Toffees fans suffered enough under an over-rated Spanish boss?

Martin O’Neill being linked with the job went down like Sergio Busquets in a light wind. The Republic of Ireland boss has history of underachieving at a former-powerhouse of English football, so he too could be accustomed to the job.

In the end though, Roberto Martinez paid heavily, not only for his expensive brown shoes, but for the fact that he does not seem to possess any tactical nous. Good luck Bobby you are going to need it!